This image is the cumulative collection of our belief system. Some items to note for newcomers and idiots:

• Not only was the moon landing fake, but the moon doesn't even exist. Its façade is cracking, and when it does, the moon will crash into the Earth. That's okay because

• Earth is protected by a giant dome that keeps the air in. Otherwise, wouldn't it just escape? Some people, though, might say

• How did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs get in? WRONG. There was no asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. In fact, dinosaurs still exist in the form of lizards, turtles, peacocks, and The Loch Ness Monster.

• Earth is flat. There, I said it. Let me put it to you this way: If people from ye olden days weren't right, then who is?

• UFOs are real. They abducted all the gorlacks. Never heard of one? Exactly.

• The U.S. Government is covering up Lizard people. Lizard people are common, actually, and live in most suburban sewer systems. Don't believe me? Throw a pound of raw bacon in your nearest sewer. See what happens next.

• Everybody in the Government is secretly a puppet controlled by a Mole Person. These Mole Persons' goal is to protect themselves from discovery and cover up the existence of the Lizard People.

• The Great Pyramids of Giza are beacons for the U.F.O.s. The light is in ultraviolet, and can only be seen by Mantis Shrimp. Is it possible that the aliens are mantis shrimp? That theory is pending.